| Leaving tomorrow morning..... |
[Dec. 5th, 2005|10:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
Tomorrow morning, Master Obi-Wan and myself will be leaving for a hot spot in the war. Cato Nemoidia. We are going there for who know's how long... I don't know why we're going.
I have to see people tonight if we're leaving tomorrow.
Until we meet again.
May the force be with you. |
|
|
| Found a song |
[Oct. 13th, 2005|10:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Giving it away | ] |
I found a song that just.. hits home too much.
By the way you brought me here,
It makes believe,
the best is still yet to come,
and I don't want to leave.
Forgive my hesitation but I'm learning to trust in you.
Help me to dream these dreams
because I don't have a clue.
If you'd be honest and say what you mean you know I
would promise I'd do anything
because I know that without you I'm giving it away.
Is this what you wanted?
Cause I'm willing to change.
Now that I'm certain,
there's much more to gain.
You've introduced me to the moment
but I'm looking to stay for good.
You asked me to stay forever.
Well, you know that
I would, I would do anything.
If you'd be honest and say what you mean you know
I would promise I'd do anything
because I know that without you I'm giving it away.
The nights are forever and maybe I'm wrong,
but it feels like I'm so lost without you.
So I step towards the heat, it's the way I can see,
and it makes me believe that it's you.
And by the way you brought me here it makes me believe the best is still yet to come
and I don't want to leave, I won't, but anyway...
If you'd be honest and say what you mean you know
I would promise I'd do anything
because I know that without you I'm giving it away.
The nights are forever.
I can't get to sleep cause I know there's a reason.
I'm in this too deep and I'm sure that without you,
I'm giving it away.
Yeah. |
|
|
| I've seen her..... |
[Oct. 4th, 2005|09:01 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Across the Stars--John Williams | ] |
Padme has gotten through. Eventhough I've only spoken to her once, I've never felt... more... complete in my life.
She looked.... so beautiful. It took my breath away. I miss her..
so much.
I want to see her in person.
This computer bs is completely obnoxious.
but I don't think that Salina would let me. I know that Salina doesn't want to keep her and I don't blame her. Salina says that she feels obligated to take her on.
I just... I've missed her for so long... and I didn't realize how much I've missed her until I saw her again. It hurts
so much that I can't bare to loose her again. I just can't. |
|
|
| Saving Padme. |
[Sep. 27th, 2005|09:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
After being stabbed in the stomach and having Obi-Wan bitching at me... He tells me that We've gotta watch over Padme again.
AGAIN!! Why can't she just stay safe... *sighs* This is redicluous!!
But.. she's doing fine. There was an attempt on her life again. Sombody tried to kill my wife again. Why can't they just leave her aloene. She didn't do anything to anybody.
I hate my life.... |
|
|
| Another song |
[Aug. 11th, 2005|11:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  meditative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Staind | ] |
This one I've heard for a long time but it just hit me as something that makes me go back to memories I probably shouldn't go back to.
Your words to me are just whispers
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disapear
Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
So I speak to you in riddles
Cause my words get in my way
I smoke the whole thing to my head
And feel it wash away
Cause I can't take any more of this
I wanna come and find
And dig myself a little hole
Inside your precious heart
Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
I am nothing more than
The little boy inside
That cries out for attention
Yet I always try to hide
Cause I talk to you like children
But I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revieled
Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said |
|
|
| bored... again... |
[Aug. 11th, 2005|11:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
You chose blue eyes.
You're a very smart, intelligent person. You like
to take things apart, and see how they work,
and sometimes put them back together again. In
your class, you're probably the student who
raises your hand the most, soaking up all
knowledge for future purposes. Sometimes you
can be a bit of a know it all, and you kind of
always have to be right.
The Eye color personality test
brought to you by Quizilla
We went to Disneyland yesterday and waited 70 minutes for my favorite ride, ever!!! Then after that we went on Star Tours. Another favorite ride of mine. |
|
|
| Being bored...... lonelyness doesn't help..... |
[Aug. 9th, 2005|10:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | awake | ] |
Your afraid of: Death. You don't want to die
because you don't want the people around you to
suffer. How sweet. You don't want them to go
through any pain so you don't want to die. Or,
you might have someone very close to you who
you have to help and don't want to fail them.
To you death equals failure. And you can't fail
that person.
Your strengths: Your caring, out-going and love
those close to you with all your heart.
Your weaknesses: You sometimes care a little too
much and get hurt because of it. Also,
sometimes you care for others far too much and
forget to take care of yourself.
What are you afraid of? (No pics, intelligent answers. 6 outcomes)
brought to you by Quizilla
You are an Aries, the pure energy of a flower
bursting open and reaching towards the sun!!
You are #1, the first sign in the zodiac, not
by time but by order. You are an explorer,
someone who takes risks, you are the first to
dare, to talk, and to think new ideas. You are
bold, daring, energetic, fast, adventurus,
brave, fun, bossy, loyal, determined, lucky,
and generous. Of all of the animals out there
you are most like a ram, you charge head first
at most ideas, which is not always a good idea,
but you usually work it out in the end withyour
cunning.
-the planet you are ruled by is mars
-your colors are maroon and red, the colors of mars
-your metal is iron, and since mars is cover with
iron rust it makes TROTAL sense
-your precious stone is diamond, the hardest thing
out there
-your day of the week is tuesday
-your element is fire
- your best love match is sagittarius, aries,
gemini, and sometimes libra
What is Your TRUE Astrology Sign? (for guys and girls with incredibly detailed answers and incredible pictures+READ MEMO PLEASE)
brought to you by Quizilla |
|
|
| I was thinking..... |
[Aug. 8th, 2005|09:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  trying to meditate | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I'm giving it away | ] |
I was thinking the other day, yes, I know how dangerous it is, and it caught my attention that..... That things that I thought were normal, couldn't be farthest from. I thought that I was the only one that I knew that was in love with somebody but I was wrong. I found out that somebody I know personally is in love and I'm not quite sure waht to do about it. I want to ask them what they would do if they were in my situation, but I'm not even quite sure what my situation is.
I thought I as only in love with one person and I know I love her dearly. I would die for her, but... I'm not even quite sure where she is right now. I know where the other one that I love is. I have seen her more often that I have seen my wife, which I think is very, very disturbing.
I realized how much I loved the said "closer" one when I realized that I couldn't see her. I got worried where she was. Zanora told me to stop worring and that she would be fine, but I couldn't get over how much I worried about her. we were only seperated for about 15 minutes but, I missed and worried about her.
Is that wrong? I know it isn't right. But... it isn't wrong... is it? No. It isn't. It's right for me to worry about the ones that I care for. Perhaps I shouldn't care for her so much. I'm not even sure if she cares the same way for me. I've kissed her once... which was uncalled for. She confronted me about it after she found out that I was married. I don't know why I did it. Well, I mean I didn't know then. But I do now. I love her. That's the reason. I probably shouldn't love her. But I do. I know that she'll never read this... and I'm a little bit happy that she isn't. But if she ever does, I know that i'm going to have to explain things to her.... things that would take too long to explain.
Maybe I should just leave it alone.
I need to talk to my Master. He'll know what to do. I think. I really don't know what to think anymore. Maybe I should just stop thinking. No... that makes me a droid. Programed to do the Jedi Council's dirty work for them.
I'm going to get introuble for that one.
On a lighter note, if there is such a thing as a lighter note, Zanora and her keeper are moving away to Norco, which is a little depressing. I didn't think that it would come so quickly. I remember just the other night I pulled her out of a bar in the entertainment district. She was sooo drunk. I don't understand why.. but... right now I don't understand alot of things. Like... life, war, justice, peace, love.
Love can tear you apart if you arn't careful. Just look at what happened to fifteen members of the Lost 20. They left the order because they couldn't be with the person they loved. Maybe I'll make the Lost 20, 21.
No. Both of the ones that I love would hate me for that. Maybe not my wife... but the other one. she would. If I know her, which I do, she would hate me forever.
Laria would never forgive me.
Neither would Padme. |
|
|
| songs |
[Aug. 8th, 2005|08:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Only Sunday | ] |
I heard this song the other day and it made me start thinking of what I've done wrong in my lifetime... which is too much.
Sunday is gloomy
My hours are slumberless
Dearest the shadows
I live with are numberless
Little white flowers
Will never awaken you
Not where the black coach
Of sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thought
Of ever returning you
Would they be angry
If I thought of joining you
Gloomy Sunday
Gloomy sundays
With shadows I spend it all
My heart and I have decided
To end it all
Soon there'll be flower and prayers
That are said I know
But let them not weep
Let them know
That I'm glad to go
Death is no dream
For in death I'm caressing you
With the last breath of my soul
I'll be blessing you
Gloomy Sunday
Dreaming
I was only dreaming
I wake and I find you asleep
In the deep of my heart dear
Darling I hope
That my dream never haunted you
My heart is telling you
How much I wanted you
Gloomy Sunday
Gloomy Sunday
I am not amused... Although my keeper, my friend, thinks so.
 |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
ani_skywalker's journal